Wait, I have to bring my toddler to church?

Eddie loves LOVES going to Nursery at church on Sundays. The really hard, dumb, impossible, neat thing about our block time is that we have it all in reverse order!!  So normally, I get to bring a fresh, 9 am version of Eddie to Sacrament meeting, by the end of which he's really squirming, and then gets the relief of playing in Nursery for 2 hours.  But instead, we liberate the toddler for 2 hours to run around, eat snacks, color, and dance and literally run around the room, and then have to bring a wound-up, 11 am version of Eddie to an hour and ten minutes of sitting still, which recently got even worse since we got off daylight savings here in Utah, and now what was 11 am is 12 pm for him, even closer to lunch time, and we have an even squirmier toddler to keep still during Sacrament meeting.

Bring snacks, you say? Done.  But then lunch time is hard because he's already full and doesn't sit still so I can eat. But we do it because it helps.  And the poor kids sitting on the pew with us get the benefit of it as well, to the chagrin of their parents.

Bring books you say? Doesn't work. He only likes them if you read them, and he likes to loudly exclaim his delight over the pictures even if he can enjoy them without words.

Bring toys, you say? No way. Toys are way too fun to drop on the ground and then have to crawl under the pews to search for. Cars are especially fun to make zoom up three pews.

Bring stuff to color, you say? Nope. Crayons roll even farther than cars. And  paper gets ripped up into minuscule little bits WAY too easily.

By now, you might be thinking, "How is all this stuff happening? Aren't you watching him?" And the answer is, well no, I'm trying to watch the speaker. Why am I even there if I'm going to watch Eddie the whole time? We might as well just go back to the Nursery room and eat goldfish.  But obviously we don't do that and just keep trying. Thus, the above scenario.

About four times during Sacrament meeting, Eddie receives a time-out, consisting of Seth taking Eddie out into the hall. We try to make this as un-fun as possible, wherein Eddie gets restrained onto Seth's lap, to make it less fun than getting to be free to sit, stand, play in or walk around the limited space in our pew.  Seth usually does it, because if I do it's too much fun for Eddie and he just hugs me and likes the close up attention. Does this time-out thing work, you ask? Not yet, at least he usually does the same thing again shortly thereafter.  But when he starts getting loud about something during Sacrament meeting, at least we take him out so he doesn't disturb other people.

How do other kids sit still during church? I have absolutely no idea. Other toddlers are sitting still, cuddling up on their mommy's or daddy's lap, looking the picture of two-year-old cuteness. Maybe it's because most of the toddlers in our ward are girls? Maybe they're drugged? Maybe they don't get the 12 hours of sleep per night Eddie does (on top of his 2.5 hour nap) and are just tired? I don't know. I welcome any and all suggestions in the comments section.

BUT! Hope is on the horizon because I remembered what my favorite thing to do as a kid in church was....drum roll please..................play with a...............QUIET BOOK! Yay!

And obviously, it has to be cool. And can't be any less than a Star Wars quiet book! Check it out! I'm totally making this!

http://nerdapproved.com/approved-products/diy-star-wars-quiet-book-for-kids/#!n2xjk